Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Review: Betrayal

Title: Betrayal (Descendents #1) 

Author: Mayandree Michel

Rating: 1/5 stars

Part of Series?: First in series

Goodreads Summary: 
Where there is love and power, there is always... betrayal.

At seventeen, Cordelia is an ordinary teen with an extraordinary and frightening secret. A secret that induces vivid dreams which she not only experiences true love, but crippling fear while barely escaping with her life each night.

After a life altering event, Cordelia has an unexpected encounter with Evan, the mysterious boy from her dreams, who reveals who and what she is, a descendant of the Greek gods. At that moment everything she knows of her world is a lie, and she must leave the present and go into the past to assume the role she was put on this earth for, safeguarding her ancient empire amidst evil forces that toil hastily to destroy it.

In a race against time, Cordelia must decide if she is truly a part of this dangerous world, or risk defying the gods, and ultimately lose the boy who has put a claim on her heart.

"This was the worst book I've ever read." When people say that, they're usually exaggerating. But in this case, when I say, "This was the worst book I ever tried to finish but couldn't," I'm telling the complete, 100% truth. Betrayal sits in this rare bookshelf on my Goodreads account for all 8--now 9--books that I couldn't finish. To Mayandree Michel, the self-published author of this...thing, please go take an English class. Please. 

I'm not saying my own writing is perfect. But I acknowledge my errors while Michel is under the illusion that she is a good writer. Betrayal is a combination of 1st grade grammar, misplaced grammar, ridiculous description, and a WTF-what-is-going-on plot. Do I need to describe how much I hated this? No, I think I can just show you what I spent the last two nights trying to get through. 
Finally, Mr. Clarkson and I began closing up. Tonight that consisted of Mr. Clarkson locking my cash drawer away in the safe, and me aligning the greeting cards, again
Yes, that is exactly how the passage was written in my ebook. I was willing to maybe overlook a comma or two because ebooks often come with some grammatical errors. But not this. This was just something I couldn't overlook. I mean, what the hell?
While Evan spoke, his eyes penetrated mine, and drew me in the way they had in the dream. I found myself wanting to trust him.
Oh, darn those penetrating eyes.
How could I get hurt in a dream, and have the wound when I woke up? As I stared at myself on the hot asphalt stained with my blood, I resisted what the chorus of sorrowful voices surrounding me stated.
What exactly did this chorus "state"?
“This is so bizarre… every window smashed.”
“How bizarre….the piercing sound hurt my ears.”
“How could this be… it’s bizarre.”
It's bizarre that she thinks people actually talk like this. And the best one yet? Read on...
Something dashed right through me. Right through me! The vapor I’m composed of now, sensed the being that penetrated me. This person went through my phantom body, with only one desire, reaching my crushed and lifeless form. The person was wracked with agony yet it wasn’t the cries that demonstrated this fact, but the torment they left behind that mingled with my mist.
Now imagine reading passages like this for 60 pages. Then realizing there are 600 pages of this left to go! I couldn't finish the book, needless to say. Besides, I would much rather read something that has passed the inspection of professional editors.

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