Terrible Thursdays: Wither

What a shame...so pretty

Wither by Lauren DeStefano is a prime example of the most gorgeous cover in the world paired with the most ridiculously heinous example of dystopian literature I've read in a long time.

I want to start off with my little mini rant by saying this book is eerily (and possibly not coincidentally) similar to The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. In Wither, the genetically enhanced generations of the future can only live up to about your mid twenties. Comparatively, in The Handmaid's Tale, it is insinuated that nuclear war (which also apparently happens in DeStefano's book) has made almost the entire population of women infertile.

Both books have polygamy. But Atwood is a supremely divine storyteller, while DeStefano is the inferior Luigi to big brother Mario...I am a gaming nerd, in case you didn't notice.

Furthermore, I just don't like how the world is set up. There are many discrepancies that I don't believe could happen, even if for some reason, there was a disease that suddenly off-ed people's bodies at a specific age. Do you know any disease that kills you within months of your twentieth birthday?

I rant a lot more in my full review, so Click Here for a longer, more rantish review.

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Review: Halo

 Title: Halo

Author: Alexandra Adornetto

Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5

 

Part of a Series?: First in series

Goodreads Summary:

 Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They must work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments.
Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them. Gabriel and Ivy do everything in their power to intervene, but the bond between Xavier and Bethany seems too strong.
The angel’s mission is urgent, and dark forces are threatening. Will love ruin Bethany or save her?

Review: 

God (pun half-intended), I tried so hard to finish this book. But for the love of God (again, pun half-intended), it's 500 pages, and I kid you not, nothing happened. For a book about angels vs. demons and good vs. evil, there was not a whole lot of mythical sky battles with flaming swords and God vs. Satan death matches. 

I give props to Adornetto for simply being a teen writer who got the chance to get published. And I'll be honest; her writing is not that bad. It's pretty but not pretentiously wordy (*cough* Maggie Stiefvater *cough*). In general, I think Adornetto should be congratulated for being able to write 500 rather harmless --while still flawed-pages. And because of all this, I'm technically rating this 1.5 stars. 

But as I got further and further into this story, the more I started to realize that it was probably easy for Adornetto to write this book because every page was taken straight from every other YA book I've read. There was literally nothing original about this story, and even worse, things just made no sense whatsoever. 

First off, I just want to rant about Bethany. I can't believe that female authors keep writing these weak, whiney girl protagonists so blindly in love with the brooding mystery man. It's sickening because I think girls who read books like these get the idea that love is so easy and the first guy who treats them nicely will end up being their soul mate. Also, I just don't like the idea that Bethany fell so madly in lust with Xavier when she hadn't even learned his name yet! She acted completely human from the moment she opened her mouth. I had to keep reminding myself of the gorgeous book cover because if I hadn't been told that Bethany was an angel, I would've forgotten by the second chapter. 

And Xavier is no better! He is interchangeable with all the other guy protagonists I've read from other YA romance. He's hot. He's smart. He's athletic. And he has that dark, tormented past that makes him so sexy it hurts. 

Xavier needs to die. Kay, thanks. 

As for the content, here are just some of my many complaints: 

1) Why is Jake, the British demon guy, introduced literally halfway into the story? Adornetto must've forgotten that Ivy's community service flyers weren't going to alleviate the global economic crisis. 

2) How did Bethany not realize Jake was a creep? Is she attracted to jerks on bikes? C'mon, now. I didn't even finish the book, and I knew he was bad news. 

3) I don't get the wing concept. I just read Unearthly by Cynthia Hand, and the angels' wings in that book sort of evaporate/exist on a separate plane while not in use. But for Adornetto's angels, the wings are simply folded underneath the angels' clothes. She defines them as paper thin, so #sarcasm obviously, they're invisible to the human eye. I have to wonder if Bethany walked around with a humpback because if I stuffed huge pieces of paper down the back of my shirt, someone would notice those swollen masses on my shoulder blades. 

4) If God's plan was for His angels to hide out inconspicuously on Earth, He did a crap job. You'd think the omnipotent creator could give his messengers some homelier human bodies if he wanted them to blend in. The people at Venus Cove thought the Churchs (and I assume Adornetto intended for that pun) were incognito movie stars! 

So yeah....not a good book. I was bored by the lack of plot development and originality. C'mon Adornetto, you can use your skills for the production of "OMG-must-have" books or you can use your skills for the "not-worth-my-time" books.

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Review: Touch the Dark

Title:  Touch the Dark

Author: Karen Chance

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Part of a Series?: First in series

Goodreads Summary:

Like any sensible girl, Cassie tries to avoid vampires. But when the bloodsucking Mafioso she escaped three years ago finds Cassie again with revenge in mind, she's forced to turn to the vampire Senate for protection.The undead senators won't help her for nothing, and Cassie finds herself working with one of their most powerful members, a dangerously seductive master vampire- and the price he demands may be more than Cassie is willing to pay.
 

Review:

I think there is a great story in this book...somewhere. Hidden. Deep. Really deep. Written in Pig Latin. Backwards. And upside down. Because at times, I thought I could glimpse the brilliant glow of something that could've been really, really addictive. But mostly, I was just lost and frustrated the entire time. 

Touch the Dark doesn't do much justice for paranormal fantasy, vampires, or clairvoyants (although all three groups have gotten their fair share of literary attention, IMO). It's page after page of clichés. Cassandra is the female, lone spirit clairvoyant who can occasionally skip back in time through her visions. Throughout the story, you also get to know of her tragic, dead-parent past and all of her sexy man-vampires in her life. 

For one, this book is the definition of an infodump. I've never ever read anything in my entire life that infodumps like this. And part of my frustration about being lead to believe that there is that glow of literary brilliance somewhere within the pages of the book stems from the jarring infodump pages that cut off any interesting scene. [ For example, let's place Cassandra and co. in a battle against a series of black war mages. Our protagonist is in a life-threatening situation, surrounded by enemies and on the hit list of every bad guy union in Las Vegas. Cassie's group's only shield is about to fail them when--Hey, did you know how war mages draw their shields? They simply have to imagine the shield out of anything they find protective. For the enemy mage, he imagines a wall of trees protecting himself (LOL). Pitkin's wall is water based. Cassie's is fire. Also, did you know that were-animals can apparently speak like humans even though they are transformed. Or maybe that ability is only available to half-were, half-satyr. Satyrs are half-goat men who have a ridiculous sex drive and equally ridiculous ego. But hey, that's all useless information that you really couldn't care about. Now...where were we in the actual story? Something about a shield...

Also, I just got tired of the general lack of interest I had for the characters. Cassie is such a standard mess. I don't even care about her, really. In all honesty, she doesn't have any exceptional personality trait that shouts "PAY ATTENTION" to me. She's rebellious, but what kind of PNR protagonist isn't these days? She's non-human, but well...okay, that's great. She has a flock of hot men at her beck and call. Do you get what I'm saying? And as for said hot men, they're alright. I think Chance needs to cool it with the long hair though. I find men with hair longer than their shoulders to be disgusting. I'm sorry, but this isn't the 70s. Men's hair should not be longer than mine. Specifically, Mircea and Tomas. They need haircuts. Also, they need personality upgrades to match with Cassie's. Everyone is so blah. Even the man candy stereotypes didn't really interest me. They were so predictable: aloof vampires with a soft spot for the local psychic. [And on a personal note, I think Tomas' betrayal at the end of the book was a total jump-the-shark moment for Chance. It was not something I thought Tomas' character would ever do realistically.

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Review: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Title: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Author: Michelle Hodkin

Rating: 2.5/5 stars 

Part of a series?: First in series

Goodreads Summary: 
Mara Dyer doesn't think life can get any stranger than waking up in a hospital with no memory of how she got there.

It can.

She believes there must be more to the accident she can't remember that killed her friends and left her mysteriously unharmed.

There is.

She doesn't believe that after everything she's been through, she can fall in love.

She's wrong.

Review:

 

2.5 stars

There's this new T.V. show airing that's getting critical acclaim right now. It's called Homeland (I believe it's airing on Showtime). It's part suspense, part thriller, part awesome (I saw the pilot--really good, although I haven't had time to continue with the series). The gist of the show is that an CIA agent gets a tip from one of her sources that an American POW in Iraq has been "turned" into an enemy against the U.S. by Al-Qaeda. At first she doesn't believe her source because she had no idea there were any living POW in Iraq. But a few months later, a recon mission turns up an army sniper who has survived imprisonment by Al-Qaeda for a year(s). The man is welcomed back into America as a hero and icon for the War of Terror. Now you might wonder why I'm starting this review off by telling you about this show. Well first off, the T.V. is great because you don't know if the agent is right or wrong about her instincts when, over the course of each episode, she pops MANY anti-psychotic pills that she hides in her vitamins. So is the agent crazy or is the sniper really plotting an attack on American soil?

The thing about Homeland is that it's perfect for T.V. Suspense + Live Action = Great Show. And I felt like The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer could've been like Homeland. For most of the book, you have to wonder if Mara is actually off her rocker or actually seeing things. But unfortunately, that's about as far as my praise can go...

The book jumps between bipolar schizophrenia and true-blue-paranormal-blah. As much as I tried to enjoy the confusion-causing "mystery," I couldn't decide if this book was supposed to be a paranormal, bump-in-the-night story or simply a tragic tale of a girl gone crazy over killing her friends. What made this conundrum even worse was the half-hearted explanation we get at the very end. Now, I know what "mara" means because of Rachel Vincent's Soul Screamer series, and I had a feeling that her name would have some sort of connection to what was happening to her. But only because I knew what a mara was did I understand why Mara happens to kill things when she gets emotional. The thing about a paranormal book is that you know for sure that the person with the powers probably isn't 100% human. I suppose the fact that Mara didn't even broach the topic of her humanity could be a sign that Hodkin was trying to keep things as realistic as possible...but nahhhh...I'm reluctant to give Hodkin the benefit of the doubt.

As for Mara's hottie boyfriend, this is where the story goes from "Um. Okay. Great. I'm lost." to "Zzzzz...wait. He has magic?". Noah is so cookie-cutter, I want to gag. He's super rich, flirty, hot, multi-lingual, intelligent, alpha-male-ish, etc. The cherry on top is that he's had sex with probably every girl in school, used them for a week or two, and then threw them away like "used condoms." But Mara has to be the one girl he decides he's really in love with. That itself was a sketchy, facepalm move on Hodkin's part. Why can't authors get some originality??? But then...there was this one scene were I literally LOL-ed.

Remember that scene in Harry Potter 7.1 where Ron comes back to Harry and Hermione after leaving them. He tells them that he found their campsite because the Deluminator's glowing light orb called out to him in Hermione's voice then entered into his chest, telling him where to go. Hilarious! And so in this scene, Noah confesses that HE TOO HAS POWERS! He has visions of people dying and can heal the wounded. And he had a vision where he heard Mara's voice before he ever knew she existed. And when Mara came to school, he heard her and had to chase her down because Mara just called to him in his soul! Okay well the last part about the soul was a half-lie, but you get how cheesy the whole thing was.

I was feeling very...allusiony today. So anyway, the book was just bizarre. Mara's powers get little to no explanation aside from that she kills people when she PMSes, and Noah apparently isn't too Gary Stu either because he can heal people...yay. I'm disappointed because the cover was so gorgeous...

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Review: Betrayal

Title: Betrayal (Descendents #1) 


Author: Mayandree Michel


Rating: 1/5 stars


Part of Series?: First in series


Goodreads Summary: 
Where there is love and power, there is always... betrayal.

At seventeen, Cordelia is an ordinary teen with an extraordinary and frightening secret. A secret that induces vivid dreams which she not only experiences true love, but crippling fear while barely escaping with her life each night.

After a life altering event, Cordelia has an unexpected encounter with Evan, the mysterious boy from her dreams, who reveals who and what she is, a descendant of the Greek gods. At that moment everything she knows of her world is a lie, and she must leave the present and go into the past to assume the role she was put on this earth for, safeguarding her ancient empire amidst evil forces that toil hastily to destroy it.

In a race against time, Cordelia must decide if she is truly a part of this dangerous world, or risk defying the gods, and ultimately lose the boy who has put a claim on her heart.


Review: 
"This was the worst book I've ever read." When people say that, they're usually exaggerating. But in this case, when I say, "This was the worst book I ever tried to finish but couldn't," I'm telling the complete, 100% truth. Betrayal sits in this rare bookshelf on my Goodreads account for all 8--now 9--books that I couldn't finish. To Mayandree Michel, the self-published author of this...thing, please go take an English class. Please. 


I'm not saying my own writing is perfect. But I acknowledge my errors while Michel is under the illusion that she is a good writer. Betrayal is a combination of 1st grade grammar, misplaced grammar, ridiculous description, and a WTF-what-is-going-on plot. Do I need to describe how much I hated this? No, I think I can just show you what I spent the last two nights trying to get through. 

Finally, Mr. Clarkson and I began closing up. Tonight that consisted of Mr. Clarkson locking my cash drawer away in the safe, and me aligning the greeting cards, again

Yes, that is exactly how the passage was written in my ebook. I was willing to maybe overlook a comma or two because ebooks often come with some grammatical errors. But not this. This was just something I couldn't overlook. I mean, what the hell?

While Evan spoke, his eyes penetrated mine, and drew me in the way they had in the dream. I found myself wanting to trust him.

Oh, darn those penetrating eyes.

How could I get hurt in a dream, and have the wound when I woke up? As I stared at myself on the hot asphalt stained with my blood, I resisted what the chorus of sorrowful voices surrounding me stated.

What exactly did this chorus "state"?

“This is so bizarre… every window smashed.”
“How bizarre….the piercing sound hurt my ears.”
“How could this be… it’s bizarre.”

It's bizarre that she thinks people actually talk like this. And the best one yet? Read on...

Something dashed right through me. Right through me! The vapor I’m composed of now, sensed the being that penetrated me. This person went through my phantom body, with only one desire, reaching my crushed and lifeless form. The person was wracked with agony yet it wasn’t the cries that demonstrated this fact, but the torment they left behind that mingled with my mist.

Now imagine reading passages like this for 60 pages. Then realizing there are 600 pages of this left to go! I couldn't finish the book, needless to say. Besides, I would much rather read something that has passed the inspection of professional editors.


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Upcoming Reads 10/16/11

Here are some titles that you can look forward to in my reviews. OR, you could totally hate me for even considering them (because I know I'm grimly anticipating Mayandree Michel's book):

TO READ

As for my excitement scale, I'd put Variant and The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer at the top with a good 8 stars of anticipation, The Faerie Ring somewhere in the middle with a shoulder shrug, and Betrayal with a shuddering "I don't want to, but I'm going to anyway." My friends read Betrayal, hated it, gave it scathing reviews, and left me to wonder what all the fuss is about. I have that issue where, if someone tells me they have a secret but can't tell me what it is, I must know immediately. Have you ever gotten that feeling before? 

Anyway, please leave a comment! Thanks! - Shelby

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